have you ever felt vampiric?

a gap in my judgement...
a void in my heart..
dark clouds help as i hide myself..
lies.... lies.... i flush with shame!
there is no slumber for me at night,
the day offers no comfort at all.
i live on pretense emotions
wait... i do not live,
i merely exist.
where do i go from here?
heaven offers no refuge
and hell is no sanctuary.
earth is no purgatory...
i belong nowhere...
was i really meant to live..
or merely to exist?