seemingly there....but still nowhere

in the deepest recesses of my thoughts i was there...
my greatest joy was at hand... or so i thought?!
i gave her my soul to the bare...
but look at the damage it brought...

i try to think not of dark imaginings
but still faint traces of them appear.
did i really love you from the beginning?
Nay, but still my love is sincere...

how could i have been so blind not to see...
the darkness of my plight...
but still my life belongs to me...
blue skies, i plead... come on the first crack of light!

is it that i am effortless?
or is it the absence of faith?
either way i must confess...
i could wait... i would really wait